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A Pæean to Aglio-Olio

May 22, 2019 4:03 am Published by

One of the most popular dishes at Ya Udah Bistro is the pasta – Mamma Mia! You have your choice of spaghetti or fettuccine and you better make up your mind quick Buster because the waitress is shifting from foot to foot and staring at you severely like ‘Life is short so don’t waste my time…’

OLIVE OYL TELLS YOU TO HURRY UP AND ORDER

The pasta is a lovely complement to other grub – balances fish or meat dishes nicely – and will also harmonize with soup and salad. Eat your pasta slowly to get the greatest degree of nutrition from it. Best this is to enforce a Code of Silence during mealtime, so nobody is choking on their pasta or wolfing it down to make a point. Eating pasta quickly will give you a tummy-ache.

So eat.

Then talk.

Drink.

Eat more and more.

 

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Then talk more. Agree. Disagree. Agree again. Battle it out.

Pass out.

Talk no more.

LUCY LOVES HER PASTA

Everybody knows the inhabitants of ‘olive-oil republics’ have fewer heart attacks.

This in spite of the fact that Latins have notoriously BIG HEARTS

This is because olive oil is known for being kind-hearted:

  • Olive Oil Is Rich in Healthy Monounsaturated Fats. …

Now if you are old enough (born before 1950) you may remember how dieticians (often on the payrolls of big food companies) extolled the virtues of butter, whole milk, cheese and MEAT.

Then it became clear that Americans in particular were keeling over dead from heart disease, and that heart disease could be traced directly to the cholesterol which makes pork, beef and chicken so very delicious. Tough Titty.

Cholesterol = Saturated Fat.

Then somebody said HEY look at those hard-working (haha) Italians, Greeks and Spaniards. THEY are not falling over dead from heart disease. Why is that? Their diet is higher in Unsaturated fats, specifically, olive oil.

The defense rests, Your Honor. Put down that damned pork knuckle Your Damned Honor and sentence the defendant.

  • Olive Oil Contains Large Amounts of Antioxidants. …

No want? You sure? Absolutely? Positively?

Then pour on the antioxidants. They will kick cancer in the butt.

  • Olive Oil Has Strong Anti-Inflammatory Properties. …

You may be flaming or you may flame. But do not become inflamed or you will regret it.

  • Olive Oil May Help Prevent Strokes. …

Shut up. That’s not funny. GLUG GLUG GLUG your olive oil and eat your pasta.

  • Olive Oil Is Protective Against Heart Disease. …

Only if you have a heart, Art. So have a heart!

  • Olive Oil Is Not Associated with Weight Gain and Obesity.

You like, Mike? No like? No? You sure? You no like PLUS-size butterball big gulp-girly?

 

Then eat your pasta and be thankful for it.

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