No, not names for crazy babies, though in fact being saddled with an impossible or hilarious name may all but drive you crazy over the years. How come everybody has to struggle to be “original” with the naming of their little darlings?
How come nobody can look forward to those painful years of bullying at school and fruitless job interviews and funny looks in the boardroom when you tell them your name? How come I’m asking so many questions when in fact you and me and baby makes three should be beating a path down to Menteng, just off Gondangdia, where Ya Udah Bistro has awoken again and receives the honored walk-in trade?
Eat and drink all you wish, but when it comes time to sign, and the waitress sees your credit card with a name like this on it and she starts screaming in laughter and pointing to you and all the other patrons drop their aglio olio and pork knuckles and hurry around for a look-see:
(Did her parents even consult a dictionary??)
(It’s almost like they never wanted the baby in the first place and decided to punish it by giving him a silly name)
His parents meant well. No, really. They always called him “Richard! Richard Weiner!” No one had the heart to tell them the truth.
All the snide jokes and raised eyebrows and startled looks are gone now, as she rests in peace … (unless they have a wicked sense of humor in the afterworld)
You can’t blame the parents for this one – it’s the custom of hyphenation and it’s all on fire.
Indonesians are a proper, conservative people, strong on tradition. They tend to give their children traditional names – although to this writer it was interesting to note that staunchly Muslim parents would give their offspring Sanskrit (Hindu) names like Sita, Indra, Wisnu, Aditya, Rama or Siwa. However, there are odd occurrences popping up here and there, like a co-worker whose name was “Micheal”. “Uh, is this spelled right?” I asked, hesitantly, politely. “It’s how my parents spelled it on my akte – my birth certificate. I can’t do anything about it” smiled MICHAEL. Another situation, fraught with emotion: when this writer was teaching in a school populated mostly by rich, silly, spoiled but friendly Indonesian-Chinese girls, he came across this name in his class roll: “Shitta”. Oh dear. Didn’t her parents …? Hasn’t she been told …? What do I do about this? Let it slide? None of my beeswax? Ignore the absurdity?
We tune in to stately, glorious, proper Scotland.
Can you imagine your child being named Lucifer, the common name for the Devil? We imagine people to be wary of him all his life.
But somehow, this name still ended up on the list of baby names given in Scotland.
By the way, it’s also the title of a popular Netflix series about a demon helping cops solve crimes in Los Angeles. Instead of this name, consider looking through other unique names inspired by Netflix.
Some countries have no sense of humor. Yes, you got it right. Der Vaterland:
- Lucifer (2017):About 10 baby boys in America are named Lucifer every year, but the name — often associated with the devil — is apparently verboten in Germany. In October, a couple in the town of Kassel tried to call their son Lucifer, but a local clerk declined to certify the name. When it looked like a court was going to side with the clerk, the couple agreed to change the boy’s name to Lucian.
Next we drive by Brazil, where you will not expect any unusual playing with names.
Top Baby Names in Brazil
|1 Miguel||1 Sophia|
|2 Davi||2 Alice|
|3 Arthur||3 Julia|
|4 Pedro||4 Isabella|
|5 Gabriel||5 Manuela|
|6 Bernardo||6 Laura|
|7 Lucas||7 Luiza|
|8 Matheus||8 Valentina|
|9 Rafael||9 Giovanna|
|10 Heitor||10 Maria Eduarda|
How nice – nothing out of the ordinary here in Bra… – WHOOPS!
(Well at least his parents weren’t shy about their hopes and aspirations for their tiny tot)
Maybe baby you better get used to “overly creative” parents. Anyway, we’ll welcome you in person or via takeout / takeaway at YaUdah Bistro, open in Menteng and open in Serpong, two decades plus of serving the best of the best Euro-Asian cuisine, hygienic always and right-priced.
Bring baby along, even if you’ve attached a weird name to him or her. The Bistro is used to weirdness by now (looking at you, backpackers…)