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Who Needs More Bad Gnus?

April 25, 2020 3:24 am Published by

Pep us up, Pop. Give us some cheery stories, funny events, merry happenings. We’ve had heap plenty ugly stuff in the media. Show us how happy times will prevail.

What again? You went down to Ya Udah Bistro on Jl. Johar for a fine Euro-Asian meal and drinks, only to find us sealed up tight? Sorry there partner – if you are now in-jail-at-home why not do like this old lady for your hard drink? Be creative! She’s stuck at home as well – did that deter her? Not at all, Guv’nor.

YOU GONNA GET IT, GRANNY – A TSUNAMI…

Or, alternatively, if you are not into putting begging signs in your window (particularly in Jakarta, where they would simply assume you are crazy), telephone, yell, semaphore, wave, message WhatsApp, send a telegram for our excellent Ya Udah Bistro Takeaway food and drink. Menu right here on this website.

Odd news abounds. Happy-odd, not so much. But now we present a surprise for all you aviation buffs out there in the wild blue yonder:

In this case, no crash, Nash. Here’s a clever pilot, in trouble. And what is double-funny is the way that freeway drivers just tootle along behind the rather compromised Canuck flyboy, like another slow-poke oversize vehicle has started hogging the wrong lane. Oh those stolid Canadians – not going to let anything like an emergency aircraft landing interfere with their commute.

OK, stay-at-homebodies… we’re trying out best to cheer you up…

Andrea Bocelli’s

lone Easter Sunday concert

scores YouTube record

Andrea Bocelli has made history – his Milan cathedral concert is the biggest ever classical live stream, with more than 28 million views from across the globe in its first 24 hours.

No likey classical music? (My old Texas grandmother used to say “I really don’t understand that classified music”)

Well then how about S*E*X? No happier subject than that, at least for most folks, and how about saving your species by fathering nine hundred offspring??

Diego the Horny Tortoise Saved His Species from Going Extinct

He may not look like much of a sex fiend but this Slo-Mo Maniac has single-penisly saved his species from extinction. How? By fucking. No roses, no dinner, no dick-pix, sweet-talk, foreplay or cuddling. Just hump those 12 females, v-e-r-y c-a-s-u-a-l-l-y, and thrust away.

Can’t beat that (better than beating your meat).

One more, for the road: from the trash collector yet. Yep.

TRASH MAN BUILDS FREE LIBRARY OUT OF 20,000 BOOKS FOUND IN BINS

20 years ago, a trash collection man, Jose Alberto Gutierrez of Bogota, Colombia, found a copy of Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina in with the rubbish in one of the wealthier areas of Bogota, so he decided to rescue the book from the trash.

Jose has since collected over 20,000 books that now make up his own free library in his home in the poorer area of South Bogota – which he opens to community children at weekends. 

WHUT? WAZ DAT? You say you insist on more desperate Coronavirus pandemic news? You won’t be happy until we make you unhappy? Well no deal, Lucille. (And why the hell do those computer graphics nerds make this lethal pathogen look like some kind of Christmas candy treat?)

I’m glad to see some officer of the law has figured how to be creative: here’s some FUNNY Covid-19 news for you.

Policeman wears corona virus helmet to warn people to stay home

Now you happy, Pappy? No? Then you clearly hungry, boy, you thirsty & hungry for Ya Udah Bistro Takeaway, delivered (no, not by the cop in the goofy helmet – via Grab or GoFood) straight to your door, hot, tasty, cold, alcoholic or otherwise. If you’re around Serpong you can order fine Takeaway foods & beverages as well – we had to temporarily close up there until the virus passes.

Hey thanks for tuning in to our weekly Ya Udah Bistro blog. We like you and we appreciate your patronage, either in person or (alas!) by Takeaway. Either way we’re here to fill you right up.

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